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This was, without a doubt, the most difficult comic I’ve ever made.  Not from a technical standpoint.  In that regard it was very easy to make, not too complicated.  And not from a writing standpoint either.  Once I knew the basic outline of the joke, it all flowed together pretty seamlessly.  No, this one was difficult from an ethical stand point.  I’ve always said that anything can be joked about and nothing is beyond limits, but I’ve usually approached the events I’m joking about with a certain sense of apathy.  The tragic massacre at a Dark Knight Rises premier is something different though.  It’s not something I’ve been unaffected by.  Truthfully, it has been something I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.  It was an act of pure evil, and not one I want to see made light of.  But after all these years, I still believe in laughter, that jokes can help heal pain.  I’ve never turned away from a subject before, and as hard as it was this time, I haven’t started now.

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Implied sprite comic cnnilingus.  Breaking new barriers every day.  I'll be in Israel for the 15th, so I won't be able to update for a while.  Not that that's new, but now I can give you guys a heads up on when exactly updates will resume. 

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Hey, remember that time I said Robocop could only be cooler if he was also Batman?

Yeah. Someone out there has clearly made it their goal to turn my wet dreams into reality, and for that I thank you guardian nerd angel.

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Has everyone seen the Avengers?  Ya know, the one where Hulk, Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man team up and be awesome.  It was kind of my favorite thing ever.  Seriously, what's the matter with you that you haven't seen the Avengers yet?  Everyone's heaped well deserved praise on it, so I wanted to look to the future.  Here is my top 10 wishlist for the Marvel Movie Universe:

10. Black Widow & Hawkeye get a movie.  Black Widow is my favorite Marvel heroine. Period.  She's awesome, she's a Russian super spy who is also a super hero.  That's just awesome.  After being dissapointed with her in Iron Man 2, I was really impressed by her role in the Avengers.  I've always hated Hawkeye though.  Well, until I saw The Avengers that is.  I like Jeremy Renner and I really like the movie's take on Hawkeye.  I don't think either of them could support a movie on their own, but together?  That's an idea with legs.  Really, this could be a general SHIELD movie, there's never enough Samuel L Jackson as Nick Fury.  But even without SHIELD, the sniper and the spy have earned their shot as headliners.

9. Marvel is clearly going into space.  Things are looking very cosmic for Earth's Mightiest Heroes, especially with the reveal of the next villain during the credits.  I LOVE that this guy is going to be in a movie.  He's one of the biggest bads to everr terrorize Marvel's heroes, and I still can't believe he's going to be in a movie.  That said, I think he needs a film to set him up before Avengers 2.  It's looking like that movie will be Guardians of the Galaxy, but I wouldn't mind seeing another hero boldly explore Marvel's corner of space: Carol Danvers, aka Captain Marvel.  Carol isn't Captain Marvel yet in comics, but she soon will be and a movie will be a great way to establish her as an A-list character.  Captain Marvel would make a great addition to the Avengers in the sequel, moreso than the Guardians of the Galaxy who would threaten to overload the film.  A Captain Marvel movie has the potential to be Green Lantern done right, and strike new ground as the first female lead superhero movie (we've all forgotten about Elektra and Cat Woman, right?)   

8. Given just how big and epic Avengers was, the solo movies need to focus on the heroes’ individual settings.  For Thor, that means diving head first into the fantasy genre.  For the sequel to Thor, there is one villain and one story that begs to be adapted, Walt Simonson’s Sutur saga.  The story saw Sutur, king of the fire demons, lead an all out invasion on Asgard.  Jane Foster, Thor’s love interest, will end up in the sequel.  But rather than Thor go to Earth, I’d rather see Jane Foster go to Asgard and act as the audience’s surrogate in this mystical world.  Sutur is a natural continuation of Thor’s cinematic journey, and the scene of Loki, Odin, and Thor teaming up to fight Sutur would continue Loki’s evolution.

 

7. Much like Sutur is a natural for Thor 2, the Winter Soldier is a natural antagonist for Captain America 2.  For those of you not aware, the Winter Soldier is Cap’s WWII sidekick Bucky.  Thought dead, Bucky was recovered by the Russians and brainwashed into being a Soviet assassin who has survived into the present day.  The actor who played Bucky is signed on for multiple films.  Given that Bucky died in Captain America: The First Avenger, it’s almost a given that we’ll be seeing the Winter Soldier on screen very soon.

 

6. Make Guardians of the Galaxy awesome.  This applies to both comics and movies, as it looks like long time Avengers scribe Brian Michael Bendis will be rebooting Guardians of the Galaxy, Marvel’s team of space protectors.  Bendis can be very good (Ultimate Spider-Man) or very bad (all of his Avengers work).  Marvel looks to be making Guardians of the Galaxy a tent pole franchise, much like they did with the Avengers.  Let’s hope lightning strikes twice.  Also, please let Rocket Raccoon be in the movie, he’s awesome.

 

5. None of the solo movies will top Avengers in terms of spectacle, so none of them should try.  Rather, let them all focus on what they can do alone that they can’t do as a team.  For Thor, go all out with the fantasy.  For Captain America, give us a spy/black ops story a la The Bourne Identity.  And for Iron Man, let’s see the sci-fi (the reports that Iron Man 3 will be based on the Extremis story points to the franchise going in that direction.)  The Avengers are phenomenal together, but let’s not lose sight of what makes each of them so great on their own.

4. Give the Hulk a movie that doesn’t suck.  Seriously, how awesome was the Hulk in Avengers?  So awesome!  Keep Mark Ruffalo, keep a smiling Hulk, and give us the Hulk movie we never knew we wanted until now. 

3. Can we just get the damn Ant-Man movie made already?  Edgar Wright’s Ant-Man has been on and off for over six years.  Right now it feels like the little film that can’t.  Which is a shame not just for Hank Pym fans (there has to be a few of you), but for the role Ant-Man has in the greater Marvel mythos.  Namely, Pym’s role in creating what I can only imagine will be the villain of Avengers 3: Ultron.  I’d like to see Ultron teased and shown in Avengers 2 before being used as the villain in Avengers 3, and having Pym building him to be used by SHIELD could be an interesting way of starting that off. 

2. There’s a certain character in the universe that…doesn’t quite make it.  It is a Joss Whedon movie after all, at least one beloved character has to get the axe.  But this is comic book movies we’re talking about.  If there’s one lesson to be learned from comic books is that nobody stays dead.  I would like to see this particular character return, but as a superhero this time around, specifically Marvel’s most famous android Avenger, the Vision.  It’d be a departure from Vision’s comic book origin, but the character isn’t so popular that such changes would be heavily criticized.  The character who bit the dust has been the glue holding the Marvel Movie Universe together, and coming back as the Vision is a way to return the character to even greater prominence.

1. I want a Heroes For Hire Movie.  Luke Cage and Iron Fist.  Blaxpoitation and Kung Fu.  These are two of my favorite marvel characters and the best bromance in comics.  These guys are the best, a classic buddy cop story but with superheroes.  Personally, I’d like it to be done in the style of Black Dynamite.  Completely embrace the campy, 70s roots of the characters and go completely over the top.  When it comes to superhero movies, there’s nothing I want to hear more than the rousing battle cry of “Sweet Christmas!”

 

 

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Can it be?  A new comic?  It is!